Never Underestimate An Old Man With A Taxi Sunset Shirt

I went home, had several strong drinks and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and there were about 100 missed calls on my cell phone from a number I didn't know. I got in my car to go to work and that is when I found her cell phone on the floor of the car. It also had dozens of missed calls but on her phone they all came up as "mom".When I got to work I messed her on OKCupid "I found your phone, will get it back to you ASAP" and then I deleted my number from her contacts list, put it in an envelope with no return address and overnight ed it to her house. Never heard from her again.

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